Greetings! A Special and URGENT Message from George W. Bush

My fellow ’mericans, worldwide citizens and other people.

In just weeks, sometime around November, The Untied States will be holdin’ erections which are vital to everyone. We must remember the lessons of 9/11. (heh heh).

The world is wathin’ us as we make up our minds about the war on terror. We must stay the course, hang in there, and fight the good and noble and brave and courageous and endless war against those evil ones who attacked us from Iraq on 9/11. I never said there was any connection. Dick did.

The word my commanders on the ground give me is that Iraq has reached a turning point,it’s tipping, edging,in fact coming close to a true democracy under it’s dynamic leader Mr. Malli..Malki..Mallok...it’s leader of the Parliament. Just today we had a Kurfu and only 68 bombs went off...now that’s progress! We may have to bring in more troops for a while, but sooner or later we’ll stand down as the incredible Iraqi Security Services step up. Over 75 soldiers are ready to do that right now!

Rebuilding is under consideration, but these things take time. They don’t happen overnight. Remember 9/11!

My friends, we’ve got to fight them there or they’ll come right over here to Washington, to New York, to Los Angeles and Beverly Hills! We’d have to fight them in the streets, in the air and on the beaches of Malibu! They would destroy our favorite shopping destinations and in fact our very way of life.

The Muslim hoards are already snaking over the European continent and have struct Madrid and London. Who’s next? They have sworn vengeance for the Crusades and I say "Bring ’em on", er, ah, I mean over THERE, of course.

We all love freedom and must save the world from those who would do us harm; from those who kill women and children; from those who torture and want to rule with their empirical ideologies! NO!..not US, I mean the terrorists!

Remember 9/11! In November don’t let the "cut and run" wimps take back any seats in the House of Senate, or the United States will fall like a house ’a cards.

God Bless us. George W. Bush, Commander in Chief.