Sheehan’s vigil touches, angers war moms

State women who have lost sons, daughters differ on her protest

By SCOTT WILLIAMS

swilliams@journalsentinel.com

All of them have lived through the same horror as Cindy Sheehan, a grieving military mom whose anti-war protest at the president’s doorstep has captured the national spotlight.

But Wisconsin mothers who have lost children in the Iraq war do not necessarily feel a kindred spirit with Sheehan - or agree with her tactics.

Most identify with the protester on at least one level, having experienced the same overwhelming grief and anger that can come only from a mother whose child has been killed.

In fact, some applaud Cindy Sheehan for her headline-grabbing peace vigil outside President Bush’s ranch in Texas.

Lisa Frye of Oconto, whose daughter, Nichole, was killed fighting in Iraq last year, said she wishes she could stand alongside Sheehan and join the California mother in urging the president to end the U.S. occupation of Iraq.

"He’s a coward," Frye said of Bush’s refusal to meet with Sheehan. "She wants answers, and I’m sure there’s a lot of other people out there who want answers."

But other mothers in Wisconsin criticize Sheehan, saying her protest is undermining the U.S. war effort.

Bridget Warns of Waukesha said the loss of her son, Bobby, who was killed in the war in November, has not shaken her support for the mission in Iraq or her belief that U.S. troops should finish the job.

"The guys over there need to know that we support them," Warns said, adding of Sheehan: "I understand where she’s coming from. I don’t support her, but I understand her."

Sheehan, whose son, Casey, was killed fighting in Iraq last year, set up camp outside the president’s ranch Aug. 6 to protest the war and demand that Bush meet with her.

The demonstration has motivated peace rallies across the country, including several in Wisconsin.

Sheehan left camp abruptly Thursday after her mother got sick, but she vowed to return and rejoin other protesters who have continued the vigil in her absence.

For some Wisconsin mothers, the spectacle of a mother in T-shirt and sandals challenging the president on national TV touches a chord inside them.

"In a way, she does speak for me," said Kim Schneider of Janesville, whose son, Sean, was killed in the war last year.

Schneider said she has never received anything from Bush except an impersonal form letter, even though she heard him say publicly that he talks with the families of all soldiers killed in the war. Even when campaigning for re-election near Schneider’s home, the president never acknowledged her son’s death, she said.

"It does kind of dig in your gut," she said.

Lucy Henzig of Racine, whose son, Michael McGlothin, was killed in action last year, said that although she still supports the U.S. military effort, she can relate to Sheehan’s desire to transform her son’s death into a cause.

"I kind of wish I would be able to make a big statement like that," Henzig said.

Some mothers, however, take exception to Sheehan’s tactics.

Pam DeGroot of Oshkosh said she, too, would like to see an end to the bloodshed in Iraq. But openly criticizing the U.S. military is tantamount to betraying the young men and women fighting for their cause, said DeGroot, whose son, Brent Vroman, died in the war in December.

"If I disagreed with them," she said of American government leaders, "I feel like I would be disagreeing with my son."

Marsha Mattek of Deerbrook, whose son, John, was killed this summer, said his commitment persuaded her that the mission in Iraq was correct.

Saying she could never bring herself to protest the war, Mattek said she cannot even watch TV news coverage of Sheehan without getting upset.

"I feel no connection with her whatsoever," Mattek said. "She’s showing disrespect to the president, to myself and my son."

http://www.jsonline.com/news/state/aug05/349649.asp