The Rockets Red Glare

The Rockets Red Glare
By David Glenn Cox

The sky is falling, the sky is falling! Gosh, they really do think we’re stupid, all of us, not just the Fox viewers. Our protector, big bad bullyboy George, is going to protect us from an errant spy satellite. Its orbit is decaying and no mortal can judge where it might fall to Earth. Now considering that since the Earth’s surface is 2/3rds water, George thinks that, for safety’s sake, we must fire a missile from a navy warship and blow it to bits to protect the heavily populated Pacific ocean.

You see, the satellite is loaded, they warn, with 1000 pounds of Hydrazine fuel, a very pure form of hydrogen peroxide and it is indeed very nasty stuff. But bully boy George’s argument has a few flaws in it. First, satellites have been falling out of orbit for almost fifty years. The US government was once fined by a town in Australia for littering when a piece of Skylab debris landed in the outback.

Second, the concern for a 100 gallons of hydrazine making it through a fiery reentry back into the earth’s atmosphere is about like putting a coke bottle full of gasoline into a brick kiln and then warning, be careful if it comes out the other side.

George has just never lost his childhood, little-boy glee for blowing things up, from frog’s butts to third world countries. He just can’t resist the opportunity to shoot something. Early in this administration his former Defense Secretary came up with a plan to replace nuclear tipped ICBM’s with conventional warheads. The administration was orgasmic with delight, with the push of a button they could blow up stuff anywhere in the world. No military build-ups, no bases needed, just plug and play!

The blood drained from the faces of the Pentagon Generals as this insanity was proposed to them. With educated answers they tried frantically to explain the nuclear triad, the theory of mutual assured destruction. The inability of potential nuclear adversaries to know whether they were under attack or not. To which the administration replied. “Exactly! We thought it was a cool idea too!”

They explained to the administration that if the United States were to set a precedent by launching intercontinental ballistic missiles with conventional warheads on them first, then our potential nuclear adversaries would be free to do the same thing, making us less safe and more vulnerable. An unannounced Scandinavian missile launch would bring the Russians to a full nuclear alert, as all they would see would be a radar blip coming over the horizon. The world came within minutes of total nuclear war because of a mistake. The administration’s plan for conventional tips on ICBM’s was quietly shelved. But with this administration stupidity is never out of season, it’s as if they’ve cornered the market and have formed an all-star team of idiots.

They want to shoot down the spy satellite, maybe because of the trajectory and maybe because of the technology. This Dream Team that pioneered nuclear fuel in space probes, maybe there’s something they forgot to tell us about this one?

Or maybe they want to prove to the world that the US has the technology to shoot down a satellite in outer space. Technology that we’ve had since before the moon landing, but back then we signed international covenants and treaties not to weaponize outer space. But The Project for a New American Century has other ideas, they call it the high frontier and insist that we do just that, American control of outer space. Let’s weaponize everywhere, let’s make more enemies, let’s spend billions more for weapons systems we can’t afford and God help us if we ever use them. If our enemies really want to destroy America they will figure out a way to get George W. Bush re-elected!

But maybe I’ve got it all wrong? Maybe George does stay up at night with his National Geographic map, worrying about our safety. What would that sound like? “This is the President, tell your men to stand down, I’m issuing an all clear on this, its only headed for New Orleans." George’s motto is, as always, do as I say not as I do.

"Our role is to reassure nations around the world as to the nature of what we are tying to do," spokesman Sean McCormack said Friday. "It’s an attempt to try to protect populations on the ground."

In a cable sent to all U.S. embassies abroad, diplomats were told to draw a clear distinction between the upcoming attempt and last year’s test by China of a missile specifically designed to take out satellites, which was criticized by the United States and other countries.

"This particular action is different than any actions that, for example, the Chinese may have taken in testing an anti-satellite weapon," McCormack told reporters. "The missions are quite different and the technical aspects of the missions are quite different."

Sure it is, it’s different, we criticize the Chinese for shooting down a satellite but it’s different when the US does it because its for safety sake! The same nation that has touted and sold a missile defense shield and reignited the cold war suddenly wants to hold a space-based fire drill to protect us. Oh I believe! I believe, here comes Santy Claus here comes Santy Claus, right down Santy Claus lane…

It was wrong when the Chinese shot down their satellite last year but this is twice as wrong because the US is the agitating and instigating factor in all of this, the same Dream Team of morons wants to destabilize outer space to rub American military power in everyone’s face. The US missile defense is based on satellite navigation. No satellites, no missile defense. The Chinese shoot-down was a response to the promotion of a US program making the clear point that the counter measure always costs a fraction of the original program. A million-dollar missile destroys a hundred million-dollar jet fighter and a ten million-dollar torpedo destroys a ten billion-dollar submarine. An administration without ten cents worth of common sense might just destroy us all.

And, just in case the US missile fails to find its target, plastic sheeting and duct tape will be made available. Gosh. they really do think we’re stupid.